my baby's back!

our internet connection is back. finally. haha.

hm. wala pa ko sa mood magpost pero parang tinatawag ako ng blog para magpost. haha. kulet.

wala. this post's 'bout something that's really bothering me.

i dunno. nalilito ko sa kanya. am i just assuming or she's giving me mixed signals? waa. one day, as if we don't know each other. like strangers in the night. lols. then the next day, she's giving me the signs that she still wants me. waa. make up your mind! hahay. nahihirapan ako. : (

hay. sige dito na lang. weh.

another night has passed.

God. i'm so thankful i went thru last night alive.

that was the most heartbreaking cry i've cried.

*sigh* and she didn't even care at all.

she didn't. maybe she never did.

it's totally over.

two years went down the drain

i'm left with nothin but my friends, family and especially my God.

i have to let go.

let go of everything.

this is for me now.

for my own "survival" i guess.

i know i would be missing her but that's just part of the healing process.

i have to get thru this.

i need to get thru this.

uhm. you and i can't be friends..for now.

i'm sorry.

it's not just right for me to pretend everything's okay whenever i'm talking to you.

i still feel something for you.

it would only hurt me if i continue being just your friend.

in time,after my heart mends,

after every wound heals,

after my last cry,

we could be friends.

but not now.

i still care about you though.

somewhere, somehow,

i'm still here for you

eventhough this would be goodbye for now.

ang gulo ko nu..wa.

basta magulo magsalita ang taong heartbroken.

hihi.

so long..farewell.. till then ansoy..

para sa'yo 'to.

yep. para sa 'yo. hMm..just want to say thank you sa lahat ng memories that we shared. thank you for the chance na nakilala kita, na minahal mo ko. salamat. basta salamat sa nagawa mo para sa 'ken, mapagood man o mapabad. thank you..

sorry din sa lahat ng nagawa ko. i've done a lot of things to hurt you. lalu na nuon. i took you for granted kaya siguro naging ganto na tayo ngaun. but i know, ginawa ko naman part ko para makabawi sayo. basta i'm sorry.

all i'm hoping is for us to be both happy. together man o hindi. *sigh*

one more thing, i never really hated someone i loved more than myself.

i never really hated you.

it ended last night.

*sigh* after a long while i'm back. miss me? weh. anyway, we broke up. last night, things ended. everything. guess it's really not meant to be. who am i kidding? in front of everybody's eyes, we can never be together. we can never be meant for each other. eventhough, what i felt is something i know is right. feels so right, but so wrong. *sigh*

she have someone new..again. i can't blame her. we're miles apart. and as i'd said, the kind of relationship we had is "illegal". i hate the word by the way. *sigh*

sad ako. at siguro nanghihinayang. i've done a lot of things for her. did everything that i can just to stay in this relationship. parang nasayang lang lahat. i don't know. one day, she'll forget me. everything about me. about us. *sigh* sana i can get thru this.

what i hate? the "missin her" part. actually, yun talaga ang masakit. you miss everything you had. everything, you used to do. you used to say. *sigh* but honestly, i guess it's really time for us to have our own lives. i dont think we can bring back what used to be "us". only time can tell, what would really be for us. *sigh* sana i can accept everything na. i dont know. i know one day, every emotions locked up inside would overcome every self-control i have. i dont wanna cry again. pagod na ko. hindi pa ako umiiyak since last night. mas kinakabahan ako pag ganto. wa. somebody help!

*sigh* sana slowly but surely, i'll move on. i'll be happy again. di ganun kadali itapon ang dalawang taon.

sana maging happy ka na...