closure.

showing the real me.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

screaming out to you........

Here i am.
Screaming.
Letting out another moment of missing her.
Letting out another time of loving her.
Another scream.
One more scream.
Want it to stop.
Want it to end.
When will my heart ever mend?
My eyes' breaking.
My heart's crying.
Such heaviness i'm feeling.
*sigh*
Again, here i am.
Screaming.

T_T

i don't know what to do..... shit. sobrang lito na ko..help naman oh.... di ko na alam mga pinagsasabi ko.... i miss her so much.... i need her....i still need her.... i want her back.... i don't wanna lose her.... she still holds that place.... i hate to admit it, i still love her...so much.... mahal na mahal pa rin....... thinking of her makes my heart break at the same time skip.... di ko maimagine na mawawala na siya ng tuluyan sa 'ken.... di ko kaya..... mababaliw ako bata...... im sorry..... T_T eto na talaga ako....eto na talaga laman neto...di na ko nagisip sa mga sinabe ko.. walang halong pride... mahal pa kita...mahal na mahal.........


Know I havent slept a week at all
Since you've been gone
And my eyes are kinda tired
From crying all night long
Know I've never been too good at cooking just for one
It's so lonely here without you darling
Come back home

'Cause I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love

Know life hasnt been much fun at all
Since you've been gone
And my eyes begin to fill
Each time I hear our song
I spent every minute asking myself
What went wrong
Can't we try to talk it over baby
Come back home

'Cause I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could love you like I do

'Cause I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could ever love you
No one else could ever be
Half crazy
Feeling sorry for myself
And I'm worried you'll find someone else
Feeling sorry for myself
Half crazy..
`````
I long for the warmth of days gone by
When you were mine
But now those days are memories in time
Life's empty, without you
By my side
My heart belongs to you
No matter what I try

When I get the courage up to love somebody new
It always falls apart 'cause they just can't compare to you
Your love won't release me
I'm bound under ball and chain
Reminscing our love
As I watch 4 seasons change
In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of
The scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you (ooh)
Go skinny dipping in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves
The trees are bare, when you're not here
It doesn't feel the same

Remember
The nights when (remember the night)
When we closed our eyes (when we closed our eyes)
And vowed that you and I would be in love for all time
Everytime I think about these things I shared with you
I break down and cry 'cause I get so emotional (I feel so emotional)
Until you release me i'm bound under ball and chain
Reminscing our love
As I watch 4 seasons change
In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of
The scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you (ooh)
Go skinny dipping in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves
The trees are bare, when you're not here
It doesn't feel the same

This loneliness has crushed my heart (it's killing me baby)
Please let me love again
'Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain
Or 4 seasons will bring
The loneliness again
In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of
The scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you
Go skinny dipping in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves
the trees are bare, when you're not here
It doesn't feel the same
Remember,
The warmth of,
Days gone by....


....hear me....

galit ka na naman... =(

hay.. hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano ba talaga gusto mo. *i've just read your blog.*
..you hate me. you always hate me. wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah. please..tama na..... wak na tayong ganto. hirap na hirap na ko! T_T gusto ko ng mag-move on......... gusto na muna kitang kalimutan...... the love i STILL feel for you is hurting me! T_T may vj ka na! nu pa bang gusto mo?? hindi na kita ginugulo....... hindi mo ba maintindihan bakit lumalayo muna ako?? ikaw ang nangiwan! hindi ako! hindi madali para s'ken to! kala mo ba hindi kita namimiss?? paggising ko pa lang sa umaga kaw na laman ng isip ko! sabi mo pa nga diba wag na kong umasa....di na ko umaasa....hirap hirap ng hindi umasa sayo.....pero sinusubukan kong gawin.... nalilito ako sa mga pinapakita mo! T_T eventho hindi ako nagpaparamdaman doesn't mean di kita iniisip! kahit ayaw na kitang isipin, naiisip pa rin kita! kaya please....wak mo na ko pahirapan pa...... you can always turn to me naman eh....pero wak ka naman sana magagalit..........
....wag mo na lang akong saktan kung di mo kaya ipakita na mahal mo ko......di lang ikaw ang nasasaktan sa sitwasyon naten.... wag kang maging selfish....tignan mo din nararamdaman ng iba....... T_T
wala akong iba......kasi ikaw pa din........di ako lumalayo dahil may iba ako, lumalayo ako dahil nasasaktan ako..... kahit anong gawin ko, kahit anong tingin ko sa iba, ikaw pa rin yung nakikita ko....magiisang buwan na, di ko pa din alam gagawin ko............................ puteek!! litong lito na ko!! di ko na alam!! T_T!!
sorry na lang..... pareho tayong confuse ngayon...wag na lang tayo magalit sa isa't isa......usap tayo...let's just fix this once and for all... yung usap na walang tinatago...please.... =(

Thursday, February 08, 2007

eureka!

boy! am i confusing?! haha. i just realized everything while i'm reading some love quotes from the net. haha.
hay.. di naman ako sad na sad talaga. maybe.. uhm..maybe i'm just missing the loving feeling. especially now, it's the hearts' month. that makes more sense. i mean, i'm happy she's happy now. honestly, i don't want her back. no, not this time. we both know that. we'll just go on hurtin each other so she let go. and i know it's the best thing to keep us from inflicting pain on each other. the pain of having separate lives is just nothing to the pain we might feel if we continue our relationship. we both love each other but the situations are against us. suko muna. di na din kasi maganda nadudulot sa isa't isa. now, we just have to get through this. if in time, we'll meet and the feelings are still there. i won't let her go na. make everything right at that time.
well, aun lang. hinabol ko lang. but don't get me wrong. i'm still quite sad. empty. broken. hehe. basta hirap iexplain. bleah! go figure!
pis!
^_^ .V,,

malungkot ako kasi...

hay.. i'm kinda sad. well, not actually kinda, i'm really sad. i know why. i mean, all the people who really knew me knows why i'm feeling this way. i'm fucked up the whole day. thank God for those guys that lifted my spirit a while ago though. ^_^

hay..
malungkot ako kasi wala na siya sa 'ken.
malungkot ako kasi namimiss ko na siya.
malungkot ako kasi di ko na alam gagawin ko sa sarili ko.
malungkot ako kasi naiisip ko pa rin mga nangyari.
malungkot ako kasi parang nasayang lang yung dalawang taon.
malungkot ako kasi siguro di ko pa rin matanggap na wala na kami.
hay.....

attached. broken. empty.

i just feel empty.when she left me, everything just fell apart. gets niyo ba? i thought things wouldn't last. siya ang naging dahilan sa bawat galaw at ginawa ko. binuhos ko sa kanya lahat. kaya ngayon, wala na siya, wala ng natira sa 'ken. para sa 'ken. hay.. sa totoo lang, tearing myself open, i'm lost. di ko talaga alam sunod na gagawin ko sa buhay ko. hay..tapos may mga times naman na i feel fine. na tanggap ko lahat. that im actually enjoying my single life. shet. nalilito na ko. di ko na talaga alam gagawin ko. or what i should really feel. but aminado ako i'm still in the healing process. siguro ganto nga lang talaga. hay...

whatever. sana slowly but surely, i'd move on. hay...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

so gay..

haha. amp yung isang post. ahihi. wala lang.. XD
wala din 'wenta itu.
tinatamad pa ko mag-isip ng ipopost ih.
ay ay. we had a closure na last night. i'm happy now, sad a little though. she have moved on. i guess it's right for me to continue moving on. till then lil one.. = j
aun! aun lang ih. hehe.
i am happy.
pis!
PS.
yung mga sasama s'ken na makigulo sa lovapalooza. hanapin niyo lang ako sa rural, ayt? guijo room. XP may registration din tayo ih.
pis! ^_^ .V,,

fixing a broken heart? amp. XD

Fixing A Broken Heart

There was nothing to say
The day she left
Just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I held a taxi in the rain
Looking for someplace to ease the pain
Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there

You really know where to start
Fixing my broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

Now I don't understand what I'm going through
There must be a plan that lead me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near

Just like an answered prayer
You made the loneliness easy to bear

You really know where to start
Fixing my broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
Soon the rain will stop falling baby
And I'll forget the past
Cause here we are at last

You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

..fixing a broken heart.



amp. XD

Monday, February 05, 2007

there's something new about me.

yea. you heard it right. there's really something new about me. guess what? nah! not a new lovelife. haha. just kidding. here goes! dislocated knees people! yep. dislocated kneeS. (take note of the 'S') not just one but two! haha. gosh. these hurt. hay.. i can't walk normally. para akong tuod. wa. now? i've got two ice packs sitting on my knees. damn. huhu. poor me. *pout*
details: nagkamali lang ng upo kaninang umagang hro. wala akong ginagaang kalikutan ah. niak.
okay! enough of that incidence. i miss updating this blog pero namamayani talaga ang katamaran sa aking katawan. haha. XD my last post was last january 26 i guess. wow. and it's already february 5. haha. hay.. february. month of hearts. argh. i hate this month. it reminds me that i'm already single. haha. just kiddin again. well, i love this month actually. first, it's bill's birthday on february 15. and mara's coming back from japan on the 13th. the prom on the 17th. and on the 28th my lil sis's birthday. she's turning 12 by the way. tsktsk. how time flies. on that same day, we'll leave for ilocos! haha. zero-siete's very much awaited field trip! wee! february28-march3. haha. march 3? guess who'll be coming back. yep! marian and fer! (di na daw kasama si lyndon. hmp. papaiwan na sa japan.) haha. joke. the 3 hapoyukis are coming back na! hay.. i am soo excited! marian, a big hug from me awaits you! ^_^ i miss you so much ido..
i've just remembered, lovapalooza on the 10th. waa. tara guys! XD makigulo sa mga tao sa mall of asia. who's with me? XD tsktsk. mga naiisip nga naman ng taong walang lovelife. hahay..
"heart of mine, how will you keep from dying?
stop reminiscin', who is she kissing..
heart of mine, oh what's the use in tryin'?
no one can mend you now.."
niak. at kumanta ang gaga. hay..
anyway, happy hearts' day guys. treasure every moment with your special someone. make them feel special. love them truly. appreciate them not just on this month or on hearts' day. make everyday, a 'hearts' day'. spread love. pis!

aww. halata bang sawi? toinks.