by the end of the day...

still nothing. no improvement of what i'm feeling. uneasiness. hay.. i don't know who i should seek for help. siguro kasi i know, i'm the only one who can really help myself right now. all along. darn. it's hard. i may look tough outside but i know i'm still that little crybaby inside. still that little child who needs someone to wipe her tears away, who needs someone strong that she can get some strength from. i'm still the same weakling with still the same insecurities and fears. seriously, i really need someone i could lean on to right now.

it was really a big blow for me. something, i know, whatever i do, i wouldn't forget. it made me weak. i'm too weak to get angry, and too weak to fight for myself. all i can do is cry, which i did since last night. i'm asking myself, 'why?'. just why. i'm trying to understand everything. but i just couldn't. i couldn't even let myself believe. i feel that i'm surrounded with all lies and even myself is a lie. i couldn't trust anyone. i couldn't trust me. i'm once again caught in this emotional tailspin. and i'm getting tired. so tired.

hay.. i just hate this blog. so melodramatic. full of angst. parang wala ng magandang nangyari sa buhay ko. hay... just save me.. anyone.